Let Me Love You (McClain Brothers Book 1) Read online

  I closed my eyes and listened, my heart full and my soul happier than it had been since the day Nat entered the world.

  25

  My hands were shaking, I could barely breathe, and I was itching all over. The TV was on, but the screen was a blur and the sound of it coupled with the chatter around me was cacophonous and irritating. I needed quiet so I could think straight, because as it was, my thoughts were muddled and tangled like a bowl of spaghetti pasta. Things in my head were so loud and confusing, I couldn’t even obsess over how it got to this point.

  I lifted my eyes toward the door and wondered if I should leave, just go back to my house in LA. Grab Nat, who was fast asleep in Ms. Sherry’s suite, and catch the first flight out, but that would be so wrong. How could I justifiably run when everything that happened was my fault? Had it not been for me, or at least Everett’s association with me, he’d be in that room at that moment, probably stripping some other woman naked and glorifying her body, loving her like he loved me. And he’d be better off. He was so kind to me, great with Nat. He cared about us, and look where that got him.

  I jumped and looked down at the phone I held in my hand when it began to buzz. His phone. It was Esther…again, calling because she obviously knew what had happened, which made me wonder why in the hell she was marathon calling him when common sense should have told her he couldn’t answer.

  There were calls from his family members, too, and I wondered the same thing about them. Why call when there was no way he could answer? Closing my eyes, I placed the phone on the bed beside me and laid back. My head was throbbing, and my stomach was protesting its emptiness. I should’ve been at some after-party. We should’ve been at some after-party laughing, drinking, and dancing.

  We should have been celebrating.

  “You need anything?” Bridgette’s voice was soft, almost apprehensive.

  Opening my eyes, I gazed up at her concerned face as she stood over me. “Everett.”

  “I know. I know, and I’m sorry things are like this.”

  “What are you sorry about? This is my fault. All of it is my fault.”

  Bridgette wore a frown as she asked, “How? You had no control over what happened.”

  I sat up and sighed. “Yes, I did. I came into Everett’s life with all this baggage. I knew better. I should’ve just kept living like I was living—alone. It’s what I deserve. Everett is the innocent party in all this, and the shittiness of my life has just…” I broke down, tears racing down my face as I hung my head and sobbed. I felt Bridgette wrap her arms around me and squeeze as I leaned into her. I heard Sage, who had been staring at Everett’s laptop since we made it back to the hotel, say something, but couldn’t make it out over the sound of my own crying and the action on the TV.

  “Did you hear Sage?” Bridgette asked.

  I shook my head, but before either Sage or Bridgette could repeat whatever was said, a knock sounded at the door. I moved to answer it, but Sage was already opening it before I could get to my feet.

  Dunn walked in, let his eyes sweep over the room, then settled them on me with an unreadable, but definitely unfriendly, expression on his face. “Got the call to go pick the boss up. He wants you in the car when I get him.”

  “That’s what I was trying to tell you, that they were letting him go,” Sage said.

  I nodded and asked Dunn, “Can you give me a sec to get myself together?”

  He shrugged. “I’ll be outside the door.”

  Sage and Bridgette helped me collect myself. I declined getting my makeup refreshed, put on some lip gloss and a pair of shades, and left the suite in sweats with both my phone and Everett’s in my purse as I followed Dunn to the waiting car, ignoring the paparazzi that were crowded outside the hotel’s entrance. Once in the back seat of the rented SUV, I sighed and closed my eyes, relieved I would be seeing Everett but still on edge about the night’s events.

  “You’re poison, you know that? Chicks like you? You kill shit.”

  My eyes popped open, and for a second, I thought I’d imagined Dunn’s words. “What?” I replied.

  “You’re poison. South is a good guy. You come along and just fuck his world up. And I thought you didn’t want him anyway. Why you out here messing up his life?”

  “Excuse me? Are you seriously talking to me like this when I’m engaged to your boss?”

  “I don’t know how you pulled that one off, either. You ain’t even the type to be wifed. You the type to be fucked and left alone.”

  I knew Dunn had never been a fan of mine, but he hadn’t overtly disrespected me from the moment Everett and I became a thing. So it was shocking as hell to hear him say what he said. My state of being shocked left room for Evil Jo to appear, and she said, “You know what? I know you tried to get with me awhile back, but I swear you sound like you wanna fuck my man right now. Is that it? You jealous because he happens to enjoy fucking me? You want him for yourself? You been fantasizing about it or something?”

  “Fuck you, bitch! You think you special? You ain’t the first bitch he ever fucked in a dressing room. Shit, you ain’t even the last bitch he fucked in a dressing room.”

  That jab stung, but Evil Jo quickly recovered. “You be listening to us, Dunn? That shit turn you on or something? Well, I got that dick on lock. Sucks for you.”

  “You ain’t shit.”

  “I beg to differ. I’m the shit. And soon, I’ll be Mrs. The Shit. AKA, your boss’s wife.”

  “He’s not just my boss, he’s my friend, and—”

  “No, he is your employer, and as soon as I tell him about this little conversation, he’ll be your former employer.”

  “Bitch, if your temporary ass gets me fired, you gon’ deal with some permanent consequences, but I ain’t worried about that, because I know he wanted you in this car so he can dump your ho’ ass. Shoulda done that months ago.”

  He finished his statement as he pulled up to the police station. I flung the back door open and tried to thread my way through a new throng of paparazzi, but found myself lost in a sea of cameras and bodies and loud voices. I started panicking, and was near tears when I felt someone grab my arm. My first thought was to snatch away, then I realized it was Everett and threw my arms around his neck. He pulled me close and apologized in my ear before leading me to the waiting SUV.

  26

  Six hours earlier…

  I accepted my award, did the backstage press thing, and made it back to my seat before the end of the show. There was one award left to give and a final performance on the schedule, and then me and Jo could bounce up out of there. I couldn’t wait, either, because we had some celebrating to do, some champagne to pop at the after-party, and some love to make once we made it back to the hotel if I could hold out that long.

  I was happy as hell she accepted my proposal. After thinking about it virtually since the day I first laid eyes on her, I finally got up the nerve and seriously doubted she’d say yes, because she had to be the most argumentative woman I’d ever met. But she said yes without even questioning me. I half-expected her to have thought about it and changed her mind by the time I returned to my seat. Thought maybe she’d been swept up in the high of my proposal at the time but didn’t really mean to accept, because the truth of the matter is, I really was moving fast, but I also really did love her. I was sure of that, so when I sat down beside her and she leaned in to kiss me with this big grin on her face, I was relieved.

  “I loved the song,” she said.

  I faked a shocked look. “Damn, really? You liked a Big South song?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

  While they announced the nominees for best collabo, a category I was not nominated in, I grabbed her left hand and rubbed my thumb across the fifteen-carat diamond ring on her finger. She grinned at me, and asked, “You get this from Peter Park?”

  I smiled. “Hell, no. Ben Baller got that money.”

  “It’s beautiful; thank you.”

  “You’re
welcome, baby, but it’s not as beautiful as you.”

  As Blac Chyna announced Bugz-NYC and The Guerrilla Hittas as the winners for their song, Spit It, Jo said, “You trying to get in my panties later tonight or something?”

  “Baby, I got your panties right here.” I patted my pant pocket.

  “Damn, that’s right.”

  I chuckled and kissed her, then grabbed her hand again and squeezed it.

  “…I wanna thank the fans. Y’all been holding me the fuck down since day one. I also wanna thank my label, my family, especially my kids—Little Natalie and my new baby boy, Junior. I wanna thank my current wife and apologize to my ex-wife. I heard some shit went down when I was backstage, so I see that I really fucked up with you, baby. I see that shit clearly now, Jo. I still love you, though. No disrespect to wifey.”

  As Bugz left the stage amongst applause and folks shouting and shit, I glanced at Jo, who looked like she wanted to crawl out of her skin. Then my eyes made their way across the aisle to Bugz’s wife, who looked like someone had just slapped her.

  “The hell?” Jo said softly.

  “You all right?” I asked. Shit, I wasn’t, because like Jo said, the hell? Was this dude out of his mind? Who says that type of stuff in front of their wife?

  “I’m fine, but seriously, what the hell?”

  I shrugged. “That motherfucker can declare his love all he wants, but he better not touch you. I know that much.”

  “He won’t. I won’t let him.”

  “Yeah…so you ready to celebrate?”

  She nodded, lifted a brow, and licked her lips. “I can’t wait.”

  I rubbed a finger across her freckles. “I can’t believe you said yes. You don’t think I’m moving too fast?”

  “You are, but I’m used to it. It’s your thing, and of course I said yes. I love you and I might have made some dumb decisions in the past, but I ain’t stupid. I’d have to be stupid not to marry you.”

  As I grabbed the back of her head, threading my fingers through her new braids and kissing her deeply, she clutched my wrist, returning the kiss. Music filled the theater, and I could hear Bugz’s harsh voice as his show-closing performance began. We stayed like that, locked into each other, lost in each other as people yelled and rapped along with him. I knew folks were dancing to the the song, because the track was dope as hell. I could admit that, but all I could think about was Jo, how much I loved her, how much I needed her, and how blessed I was to have found her. She might not have thought she contributed much to my world, but she added so much to me with her honesty, loyalty, and a level of realness I had been missing. Jo gave me things my money could never buy.

  When she snatched her mouth away from mine, I didn’t know what was going on but looked up to see that Bugz was right in front of us, still performing. Shit, I was so lost in her, I hadn’t noticed his loud, growling, unintelligible ass. She looked back at me, and I looked at her. We were stuck sitting there like a motherfucker, his eyes on Jo and a camera man behind him capturing the moment. Now I was thinking I should’ve either just scooped Jo up and left or kept her backstage with me and left right after accepting my award, because this fool was asking to get his ass kicked on national TV all up in her face like that.

  I had no idea what he was saying, but his eyes remained clamped to Jo, which told me his mumbling was directed toward her. He was straight disrespecting me! I grabbed her hand and leaned in to say something. Shit, I don’t even know what, but I needed to take her attention off him, because she was visibly upset at that point. Once she was looking at me, I felt something pull on her and her head shot up to look at Bugz again. Before I could realize what was going on, this nigga had yanked my damn woman to her feet and was trying to pull her into his arms, but she was fighting it, pushing him away. By this time, he wasn’t rapping anymore. Talent was doing his verses since they were performing their new song to close the show.

  I jumped up and pushed Bugz, making him lose his balance a little, but he still had ahold of her. “Nigga, back the fuck up!” I yelled.

  He smiled, leaning in like he was going to kiss her while she squirmed and fought against him, and that’s when my ass lost it. I shoved him so hard, he almost fell, had to let Jo go to catch his balance. I was all the way in his face in a second flat, my chest puffed out as I blocked him from her.

  “Nigga, you back up!” he yelled. “I’ont give a shit about you fucking her or putting rings on her finger. She mine!”

  “You out your damn mind! I guarantee I got that on lock! Your slow ass needs to move the fuck on! Ain’t you got a got-damn wife?!”

  Behind me, I felt familiar hands on my shoulders, heard Jo’s pleading voice. “Ev, let’s just go. You’re on TV. Come on, let’s go.”

  Never taking my eyes off her ex, I said, “Baby, back up. Back up.”

  “Call her baby one more damn time!” Bugz screamed.

  I shook my head. “Man, you a bitch, all up in my baby’s face and shit asking for an ass-whooping.”

  “Bet I’ll be fucking her tonight, because she ain’t leaving here with your ass. On life, she ain’t leaving here with you! That’s facts, my nigga!”

  I scoffed. “Right.” By now, we were surrounded by people, including Tommy, who was probably waiting for me to give him the word to jump in. Folks were yelling all kinds of shit I couldn’t make out, and the damn camera man was front and center to catch the action, but I didn’t care. I took her hand from my shoulder, and said, “Watch her leave with me.”

  Bugz stood there for a second as I pulled Jo beside me. Then he grabbed her arm. “Jo, bring your ass on.”

  She screamed, “Sid, stop this!” and grabbed my arm, pulling me away from him. I was walking backward just in case he tried to sucker-punch me in the back of the head or something, so I got a clear view of this sum-bitch grabbing her ass, and that was all she wrote. I don’t know if it was because I really, really just wanted to kick his ass anyway or what. All I know is I saw the smirk on his face and knew there was no way I could let that ride, not with millions of people witnessing it.

  So I yelled, “Motherfucker!” and punched the shit out of him.

  The crowd parted as he stumbled backward, and I punched him again…and again…and again. Security had to pull me off him, and I was detained, then arrested, but I didn’t give half a damn. I knew I had enough money and a good enough attorney to get little more than a slap on the wrist since I’d never been arrested before, but when I was being taken out in handcuffs and saw the tears streaming down Jo’s face, I felt my heart break. That’s when I realized my only child would see this shit, too. Her father being arrested. That really messed me up. What the hell was I doing? I’d lost my mind over Jo.

  27

  Now…

  Everett opened the door for me and helped me inside the SUV, then climbed into the backseat beside me. I glanced at him as Dunn pulled away from the police station to see him staring out the window in deep thought. I wanted to say something but wasn’t sure what the appropriate thing to say was in this instance. “I’m sorry my ex is a damn lunatic,” just didn’t seem like it would be enough.

  My stomach was in knots, and I could feel that familiar burning of my skin which told me an anxiety-induced itching fit was on the horizon. So I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, because I knew this was not the time for me to have a breakdown. Not now. Fixing my eyes on my side of the vehicle, I told myself that soon enough, we’d be back at the hotel where I could hold my little girl. That would make me feel better.

  I felt Everett shift on the seat beside me but didn’t turn to look at him until he reached for my left hand, inspected it, then said, “Aye, Dunn!”

  “Yeah, Boss?”

  “I need to holla’ at you once we get back to the hotel.”

  “All right.”

  Then Everett turned to me. “You got my phone?”

  I frowned a little and nodded, digging his phone out of my purse and handing it to him.


  “Thanks,” he said, dropping my hand and giving his full attention to the phone.

  I wasn’t sure what to think at first when he began returning phone calls, then I realized this was Business Everett and knew when he was in this mode to leave him alone. So I pulled my own phone out and decided to check Instagram. My number of followers had exploded shortly after Everett and I became a thing and my identity was discovered by the masses, continuing to grow by the second despite the fact that I hadn’t posted anything in weeks and had never posted a picture of me and Everett at all. I was up to sixty thousand followers, a lot for me but nothing compared to Everett, who had close to ten million followers. He had posted tons of pictures of us, but none of Nat at my request. I could deal with people talking shit about me. She didn’t deserve to be the target of people’s vitriol.

  As expected, Instagram was buzzing over the fight. All of the blogs had posted about it, with loads of people clogging up their comments section with speculation. Most people agreed that Sid earned the ass-whooping he got, a few decided Everett and I must’ve been seeing each other when I was still married to Sid, and there were tons of other theories and many insults directed at me, as usual. When I saw a comment suggesting that my daughter was Everett’s instead of Sid’s, I closed the app.

  Relief flooded me once we made it to the hotel. All I could think of was getting to Ms. Sherry’s room and cuddling with my Nat. At this point, she was the only sure thing in my life, the one thing Sid was too disinterested in to ruin for me, because even though Evil Jo talked all that shit, clapping back at Dunn, Regular Jo knew he had a point. I was no good to Everett because of my connection to Sidney. Sidney wasn’t going to let go. He wasn’t going to stop antagonizing Everett, and it was probably only a matter of time before Everett got sick of it all.

  Everett said something to Dunn that I missed because I was too busy opening the car door and hopping out. Everett caught up with me before I made it all the way through the lobby, clutching my arm, and asking, “You in a hurry or something?”