Believe in Me (Strickland Sisters Book 2) Read online

  I rubbed my forehead, resting my elbows on my desk before reaching over and sliding my finger across the screen of my phone, selecting her number from my contacts, and activating the speakerphone.

  “Hello?” Her voice sounded husky, as if I’d interrupted her sleep.

  “Did I wake you, Doc?”

  “No…I’ve been up for a while.”

  “Working?”

  “No, thinking.”

  “About us?”

  “Actually, yes.”

  I leaned forward. “Did you come to a conclusion?”

  “Yes.”

  Silence.

  Shit, this was not going to be good. “And?”

  “I can’t see you anymore. No lunches, no dinners, no more you popping up at Genesis. I’ve got to get myself and my life together before I can even think about dating anyone.”

  I held the phone, suddenly hit with a feeling of exhaustion. I’d only known this woman for maybe a week, was attracted to her, wanted her badly, but I had to wonder if there was more to her apprehension than just trying not to break her vows. There had to be, because she was divorcing the man, and I was sure she had good reason to divorce him. She definitely wasn’t the impulsive type.

  “Why?” I asked, trying not to sound exasperated.

  “Because I can’t seem to control myself around you. What we did last night was wrong.”

  “You didn’t do anything. I did, and I don’t see a damn thing wrong with it. Are you going to tell me it didn’t feel good or right?”

  “I’m telling you it doesn’t matter how it felt. It was wrong.”

  “Okay, okay, what if I promise not to do something like that again?”

  “I’ll want you to.”

  My dick, which had calmed down, sprang to attention again. “You want me, Doc?”

  “I just said I did, but—”

  “I could make you feel so good if you let me…”

  “Lorenzo—”

  “So no more dates, right?”

  “R-right.”

  “No phone calls, either? No flowers?”

  “No, not while I’m still married.”

  I sighed and decided maybe I needed to play this from a different angle. “Okay.”

  “Okay?” She sounded surprised.

  “Yeah, it’s cool. Um, I guess that means friendship is out altogether, so you can just call me whenever your situation changes.”

  She held the phone.

  “So, um…goodbye, Doc.”

  “Goodbye,” she said softly.

  My phone beeped as the call ended, and I closed the curtains on the window behind my desk and did something about my hard dick.

  I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt when I ended the call. Well, that’s not entirely true. I felt like shit, for lack of a better word. Complete shit. As I sat on the side of my bed with my phone in my hand, all I could do was wonder what had just happened and why I was so utterly floored by it. I hadn’t known Lorenzo long at all, but I thought I had a bead on who he was as a man—considerate, fine, and persistent. Had I been wrong about him, because he’d just given up on me. He gave up so quickly it made my head spin.

  I jumped a little when my mother appeared in my bedroom doorway, and said, “Nay, I’m heading down to cook breakfast if you want any.”

  “Uh…okay. Thanks. Is it just you and me this morning?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, haven’t seen Nicky in a couple of days. I think she’s been spending a lot of time with what’s his name…um, Travis?”

  I shrugged. “I stopped trying to remember her boyfriends’ names when she was in high school.”

  Mama chuckled. “Well, this one is a civil rights lawyer, and that impressed me enough to at least try to remember.”

  “Really? Wow, and she’s actually been seeing him for a month or so now. Maybe she finally found the one.”

  Mama sighed. “Maybe…”

  “So, you don’t have any company this morning, Mama?” I asked, feeling completely awkward. I would never, ever get used to my mother dating men other than my father.

  She leaned against the door facing. “No, I don’t.”

  “Okay.”

  Mama walked into my room and sat beside me on the bed. “My dating other men really bothers you, doesn’t it?”

  I sighed. “I guess I just don’t understand how you can do it after all those years of being true to Daddy. I mean, I know you two are separated, but you’re still married. The guilt would eat me up.” The guilt is eating me up right now.

  Mama stared at the floor and then fixed her eyes on me. “Renee, I love your daddy. I do, but I just got to a place where I had to figure out how to love myself again. I had to find some joy in this messed-up situation.”

  “Why don’t you just divorce him, then?”

  She shook her head and raised her eyebrows. “I don’t know, sweetie. I guess I don’t want to.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Well, we’re talking about love here. There’s nothing more complicated than love. For instance, you still love Robert, right?”

  I grimaced a little. “I think I love what we had years ago when we first got together. But now, I can honestly say I don’t love him anymore. But…”

  “What?”

  “Mama…I met someone, but being with him, even just talking on the phone with him feels like cheating, even though I know my marriage has been over for a long time. Shoot, it was over long before I left Robert. I’m crazy for feeling this way, right?”

  She smiled. “No, you’re not crazy. You’re just my Renee, the one who always tries to do the right thing. It’s just who you are.”

  I returned her smile.

  “So you’ve met someone? You like him?”

  “We really just met, but yes, I like him a lot. More than I probably should.”

  “And he likes you?”

  “I thought he did.”

  “Thought?”

  “Well…I talked to him this morning, told him I thought it best that we stay away from each other until after my divorce was finalized, and he said okay.”

  “Let me guess. You wanted him to beg, plead, insist on continuing to see you?”

  “I don’t even know what I wanted him to do other than not give up on me.”

  “So he said he was giving up on you?”

  “No, he told me to call him when my situation, meaning my marital status, changes.”

  “Hmm, well, if this man can have you sitting in here holding your phone looking perplexed, then I advise you to do whatever you can to change your situation ASAP.”

  11

  I was actually kind of glad to be in Atlanta, despite the fact I hated these conferences since I was of the mind that I could learn most of what the various panelists attempted to convey to me from a YouTube video or a journal article. I would make the most of my time away from home, try to pay attention to the presenters, gather as much swag as I could, and just rest. Maybe being away would ease my mind a bit and give it a vacation from the ever-present woes of a divorce my husband was bucking against, wayward parents, and a gorgeous street lit author who made my vagina purr at the mere thought of him, despite the fact I was still lawfully wed and he’d admitted to being a former drug dealer.

  I obviously needed a break from my normal reality, so I planned to skip this, the first day of the conference, and head to the event center across the street for the evening mixer, which was really just a gathering that gave attendees an excuse to get shamelessly inebriated.

  I’d settled into the sinfully comfortable bed in my room when my phone rang. Anxiety flooded me when I saw my lawyer’s name flash on the screen.

  “Hello?” I answered pensively, afraid of whatever she might have to tell me.

  “Hey, Renee? It’s Danielle. How are you today?”

  I’d known Danielle Prince for years, since we both served on the board of a non-profit together for a couple of years. She was friendly, a very sweet person, and a fierce liti
gator, but the last thing I wanted or needed was to make small talk with her.

  Nevertheless, I said, “I’m good. In Atlanta for a conference.”

  “Oh? When will you be back?”

  “Monday morning.”

  “Good, then we won’t have to reschedule.”

  My heart jumped in my chest. “Reschedule? Reschedule what?”

  “Well, I heard from your husband’s attorney today. He says Robert is eager to hammer out the terms of the divorce and wants to meet with us face to face.”

  I sat up on the side of the bed. “He did?”

  “Yes. I’ve set up a meeting here in my office on Tuesday morning. Can you swing that?”

  “Yes, sure.” I sighed and smiled. “Wow, I just can’t believe he’s not contesting it.”

  “Well, let’s see what his terms are before we get too excited.”

  “Okay, thanks so much, Danielle.”

  “Of course.”

  I hung up and fell back onto the bed, gazing up at the ceiling with this huge goofy grin on my face. Maybe, just maybe, my life was taking a turn for the better. Maybe I’d be able to move on…with Lorenzo.

  Lorenzo, who I barely knew.

  I sighed again. Or maybe, Renee, you should just take some time to get your mind right.

  Yeah, I definitely needed to do that.

  *****

  I got sloppy-ass drunk at the mixer, had to be escorted back to my room by a couple of fellow attendees whose names I couldn’t remember the next morning. And I don’t even drink like that, but I suppose the complexities of my life made the liquor flowing liberally around the room very appealing to my palate.

  The next morning, I woke up with a throbbing headache that made the least bit of movement painful. The room spun as I reached for my purse on the floor beside the bed and dug a bottle of pain reliever capsules out.

  I had to sit on the side of the bed for a couple of minutes to steady my dizzy head before I shuffled to the bathroom, filled my mouth with water directly from the faucet, and downed two of the pills. Looking in the mirror, I took in my appearance. I’d crawled into bed wearing my blouse and slacks, which were both now wrinkled to be damned, and hadn’t had the presence of mind to wrap up my head, so my freshly-permed hair gave me the appearance of a confused bird. I released a breath as I made my way back to the bed where I planned to stay until the afternoon sessions began. Maybe that would give me enough time to get myself together and possibly look marginally presentable.

  And then a text came through: Hey, you okay? You sounded a little out of it last night.

  It was from Lorenzo.

  I popped up in the bed. Last night? Did I talk to him last night?

  I went to my call log, and to my utter horror, found that I had called Lorenzo at precisely 2:26 AM that morning. I dropped the phone on the bed and clamped my hands over my mouth. I had no recollection of the call. Didn’t even have the slightest idea what time I got back to my room or…shit, what did I say to him?

  I groaned, and just as I was trying to formulate a plan to disappear from the face of the earth, a call came through. It was Angie. Relief spread over me, because had it been Lorenzo, there was no way I was answering.

  “Hello?” I muttered into the phone.

  “Hey! What are you up to? Wanna do lunch?”

  “Uh…I’m in Atlanta at a conference. Did I forget to tell you I was leaving town?”

  “Girl, you probably told me. Things are so crazy with all the traveling me and Ryan have been doing. Oh! Did I tell you we’re filming another commercial next weekend?”

  My eyes widened. “No, really? That’s great, Angie!”

  “Yeah, it’s for Shea Heaven’s new curl custard.”

  “Wow! I am so proud of you two! And I’m so happy for you. Love, success, you’ve got it all, sis.”

  “Yeah…what’s going on, Nay? You don’t sound exactly right.”

  “Nothing. I mean, I’m fighting a mean hangover, but other than that, I’m fine.”

  “I still cannot believe all the partying you say goes on at those conferences.”

  “Girl, it’s ridiculous. Last night’s party was sponsored by a company that sells birth pools. They actually had a huge birth pool full of tequila sitting in the middle of the room for a game of bobbing for pacifiers. Some sixty-year-old midwife from Idaho won.”

  Angela screamed laughing into the phone. “You’re lying!”

  “I wish I was.”

  “Is that it? There’s nothing else going on with you?”

  I hesitated.

  “What is it?”

  I told her about my scheduled meeting with Robert and his lawyer.

  “Good!” she replied. “I mean, that is good, right? You still want the divorce?”

  “Yes, of course I do! But um…have you ever drunk-dialed anyone?”

  “Oh, shit! Did you drunk-dial Robert and curse him out?”

  “No…”

  “Okay, who’d you drunk-dial? Mama, Daddy, Nicky, Janine—”

  “Lorenzo.”

  “Uh, who the hell is Lorenzo?”

  “The guy I told you about. The one I had lunch with.”

  “You have his number?”

  “Yeah, I kind of had a couple of dates with him and he—” I shook my head, too embarrassed to tell the rest.

  “You screwed him?!”

  “No, no, I…he went down on me.”

  “Awwwww, shit! Was it good? I bet it was!”

  “Does it matter? I mean, the point is it shouldn’t have happened at all since I’m still married.”

  “So it was good, huh?”

  I blew out a frustrated breath. “Yes! It was good, terrific, excellent, whatever! But I feel horrible about it.”

  “Okay, okay, I can see why you’d be upset, but shit, did you not want him to do it? I mean, did he force himself on you?”

  “No, no. I wanted it. Hell, I still want it.”

  “But you’re feeling all guilty about it, huh?”

  “Yeah…I know I’m not perfect. I’m not all virginal or anything. Robert wasn’t my first, and I’m not even gonna pretend I’m gonna wait until I get married again before having sex, because my coochie feels like it’s going to explode every time I even look at Lorenzo Higgs, but married or not, I’m not a cheater, never have been. Robert’s the cheater.”

  “Girl, your marriage was over the second Robert first cheated on you. So technically, you didn’t cheat.”

  “Angie…”

  “And if you really feel that bad about it, don’t let it happen again.”

  “I know. I actually cut things off with him.”

  “But you drunk-dialed him?”

  “Yeah, and I have no idea what I said.”

  “Ask him.”

  “I’m too embarrassed to—wait, I got a text. Might be from him.” I checked my phone, and said, “It’s from Redbox.”

  “Free code? Send it to me.”

  “I will.”

  “And call the man. Hell, if he gave you a good orgasm, you should have his ass on speed dial.”

  “That sounds like something Nicky would say.”

  Angie giggled. “Shit, it does, doesn’t it?”

  I sighed. “Bye, Angie.”

  “Love you, bye.”

  12

  My last relationship ended six months before I met Ms. Strickland. I met my ex during a book tour. She was a fan of mine who possessed all the attributes I loved in a woman—a juicy, thick body and a brilliant mind. She was an entrepreneur, a boss, and nothing turned me on more than a woman with power and a brain. We were good in our little long-distance relationship for a while, but then she tried to exert her power over me. See, I like women with power, but I don’t like women who try to run me. She made that mistake, and I broke it off.

  But Doc? Shit, she’d done nothing but call the shots from the beginning of whatever this was we were doing. And hell if I didn’t like it. Every time she said no, my dick got a little harder.
And when she called me last night saying all that shit? I damn near lost it.

  “Heeeeeeey, SSSShhzo! That’s what you want me to call you, right? Zzzzzzzzo?” she slurred.

  “Yeah…Doc? You okay?”

  “Yeah! Look, you—uuuuuummmm, you need to know right now that when you ate my pusshy, that-that-that…shit, I can’t think…”

  I chuckled. “You liked it?”

  “Hellllll, yeah! I want you tttttto do that again, mmkay?”

  “Okay, when?”

  “Right nooooow! Sheeeeiiiit! And call me doc while you’re eating it, cuzzz it really turns me on when you call me that. Wait…can you talk while you eat pussy?”

  I smiled. “I can try. Where are you?”

  “Um…the Franklin Inn or ssssomething like that. On the, hell, can’t you trace this call? My pussy is steaming fucking hot right now. It might burn your tongue! Haaaaaa!”

  My mouth dropped open. Her ass was as drunk as a skunk. No way she would’ve used those words otherwise. “Doc, are you somewhere safe? You inside?”

  “Mm-hmmmm. In my room waiting for you to come eat me like I’m a damn all-you-can-eat buffet!”

  “Okay, do me a favor. Lie down in the bed.”

  “I’m already lying down and I got my legs open but somebody put these clothes on me and I forgot how to take them off. Will you help me?” She sounded like she was about to cry.

  “Yeah, baby. I got you. Just lay back and relax. I’ll be there soon.”

  “Okay. I can’t wwwwait! Thank you for doing this. I really appreciate you for eating it for me. You do such a good job, Zo.”

  “All right. Hang up and just rest your eyes until I get there.”

  She didn’t hang up, and I held the phone until I heard her begin to softly snore. I could hear a TV on in the background so I was sure she was inside somewhere, and that alleviated some of my worry, but I didn’t get any sleep. And now I sat in my bedroom staring at my phone, waiting for a reply to my text. The longer she took, the more anxious I grew…until finally, a response.