Let Me Hold You Read online

  “Ooooh, shit!” he mumbled. “Motherfuck!”

  I popped him out of my mouth to shush him and went back to work, feeling him stumble a little as I lavished him with my tongue and enveloped his erection with the warmth of my mouth, the whole time telling myself that this probably wasn’t a good idea. I knew it wasn’t, but I honestly did not care.

  One of his hands met the back of my head and he released a groan as his hips moved in tandem with my mouth and hand. I took him deeper and deeper in my mouth, moved my hand faster and faster, and when I was sure he was about to meet his happy ending, he pulled back and yanked me to my feet, kissing me with such fervor that it was almost abrasive.

  Ending the kiss, he sank his teeth into my bottom lip and tugged on it a bit, then he fixed his eyes on mine. “What you just did…does that mean you’re gonna stop avoiding me?” he asked.

  I was literally about to have an orgasm from the look in his eyes, so I quickly said, “Uh-huh.”

  He slid his hand down the front of my shorts. “And give me your number?”

  “Yeah…”

  “And the next time we do this, it’ll be in a bed or at least a bedroom, right?”

  “Um…”

  He moved his hand and backed away. “Right?”

  “Okaaay, but before you blackmail me any further, look, I don’t want a relationship.”

  Shaking his head, he said, “I’m not asking for one. I don’t want no relationship, either.”

  “Then what do you want from me?”

  This time, he clutched my yoni through my shorts, moved in close, pressed his mouth to my ear again, and said, “This. Now bend over this desk so I can get it.”

  In case anyone is crazy enough to wonder what I did, I bent my ass over that desk, felt him pull my shorts and underwear down, heard him open the condom wrapper, and as I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on my desk just like I had done so many times before when my chronic insomnia would catch up with me, he thrust so deeply inside me, I thought for sure I would orgasm on contact. I moaned, slapping my hand against the top of the desk, felt him slide my t-shirt up, roll his hand over the three strands of beads I wore around my waist, and kiss my back as he slid out of my saturated core.

  “Shit!” he muttered.

  “Oooo,” I whimpered, as he rhythmically glided in and out of me. The sounds our bodies made as they met, the smell of our sex saturating the air in my office, the way he felt inside me, it all sent me into sort of a euphoric state. It was like a damn out-of-body experience or something.

  He slapped me on the ass, bringing me back down to Earth, and said, “Oooo, what?”

  “Oooo…ohhhhhh…got-damnit!”

  “I wasn’t talking to you. Little Kim said oooo, too,” he said, grabbing one of my butt cheeks with his big hand and jiggling it.

  “She…she needs to shut the hell—damn! She needs to shut the hell—oh, my—shit, McClain!”

  “You gonna get us caught, baby,” he groaned.

  “I know…you just feel so good!” I tried to whisper.

  “Didn’t I feel good the first time?”

  I moaned, because I was exactly a second away from a crazy orgasm. Then he stopped and just stood there inside me.

  “McClain, please…”

  “Your ass better answer me then.”

  “Yes! You felt good, really good!”

  He smacked my ass again and resumed operations. “Yeah, you better recognize who’s running shit when I’m in this pussy, you hear me?”

  “Y-yes.”

  “You ‘bout to come?”

  “Uh-huhhhhh.”

  “Good. Me, too. Don’t scream.”

  I didn’t scream, but I hissed and bit the hell out of my own tongue, was sure I’d given myself a permanent lisp, and just as a knock came at my door and I heard Zabrina calling my name, I felt him grow inside of me, heard him release a soft, tortured grunt, and felt him collapse onto my back.

  10

  I stared up at the ceiling, trying to catch my breath and not think about touching her again since I had literally just rolled off of her and we’d been at it damn near all night. I was sure she was tired of me, or just tired in general since she was a working woman, but even after two work-outs in the gym and a whole lot of sex with her, I still couldn’t get enough of her. It was the Saturday after The Fourth, and we had seen each other, been with each other, every day since our little reconciliation in her office, if only for a couple of hours at a time. Kim Hampton had quickly become a compulsion, an addiction for me, and I honestly didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. Sex with Kim Hampton was raw and intense every time, like we were perpetually having makeup sex without the hassle of an actual break-up since we had only known each other for a short time, and according to her, a relationship was off the table, even though that was honestly what I wanted with her. That shocked the shit out of me and confused me at the same time, because that had never been a desire of mine. But hell, I couldn’t be bothered to worry about that shit. All I knew was when I was with her, I couldn’t get enough of her, and when we were apart, she was all I thought about. And now, with my gaze on the ceiling, my eyes missed seeing her. So I flipped over onto my stomach and turned my head to the side, taking her in and smiling without even trying to.

  “You got any brothers and sisters?” I asked, wanting to know as much about her as I could.

  “A brother. He’s older, lives in DC. He’s brilliant, a doctor, but we’re not close.”

  “Why not?”

  She shrugged. “We have the same mom and dad but are nothing alike. While he had his nose in the books, I was in the basement of a friend’s house getting pregnant with Armand. I was a bit of a disappointment to my family, especially to him.”

  “You believe that?”

  “I believe my family thought I could do better, and I agree with that.”

  “But you got a degree, raised up a damn NBA player. That’s got to count for something.”

  “Yeah…”

  I reached over and rubbed the soft skin of her arm, wiggled a little closer to her to steal a kiss.

  “Armand will be in town on Monday,” she said, rolling over on her side to look at me. She was naked, wearing only those gold beads that were almost always around her waist and looked so good against her dark skin that was glistening with sweat. She was so beautiful. Every inch of her was beautiful.

  “Do those beads have a meaning, or do you just wear them because they turn you on like they turn me on?” I asked.

  “I just said something. Did you hear me?”

  “Yeah, I heard you. Did you hear me?”

  She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and bit down on it for a second before letting it free. Damn, that was hot. “Um, they’ve been worn by women in Africa for centuries as a sign of status or as a secret signal to their lover.”

  “A signal of what?”

  “Seduction.”

  “Shit…”

  “Yeah, but they have other uses, too, like for healing.”

  “So, who were you wearing them for before me?”

  “Me.”

  I smiled and thought, good answer. Not that I believed it. Kim was way too sexy to not have had a man before me.

  “Back to what you were saying; I know your son is coming to town. It’s his week to work with the boys, and they got that intramural game on Friday.”

  She nodded, dropping her eyes from my face to my chest.

  “What? You wanted me to know because I can’t see you while he’s here or something? That what you’re getting at, Kim?”

  Her eyelashes fluttered as her eyes met mine. “I…um, I think that would be best. I mean, this…us…our-uh-arrangement is not something I think he should know about.”

  I nodded. “You’re right. He doesn’t need to know about all the nasty shit you been doing to me.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “What? You’ve been doing stuff to me. Smacking my ass—”

  “You
don’t like it when I smack your ass, Kim?”

  “Did I say that? And you interrupted me.”

  “My bad. Please continue.”

  “Anyway, you smack me on my ass, say all that raunchy stuff while we’re doing it, have conversations with my vagina, be talking all kinds of shit about me with her and what do I do? I just take it.”

  “Yeah, you real good at taking it, too. That’s what I like about you. You take it, all of it, like a damn G.”

  As she responded with, “You are so damn nasty,” I reached over and gently pushed her on her back, stretching my body over hers.

  I kissed her lips, then her cheeks, then her neck, then both her breasts. “But you like it when I do that stuff.”

  “I guess I do. Been sneaking into your hotel room for the last three nights just so I can take it over and over again.”

  I kissed her forehead, nose, and lips again. “And you take it so well. Make me wanna give it to you again since I’ll be gone all next week.”

  A combination of shock and relief shadowed her face. “You will?” she asked, as she opened her legs wider for me. “Where you going?”

  Settling between them, I said, “LA. Got some business there.”

  “Oh…”

  “Oh? That’s it?”

  As I slid inside her, she closed her eyes, grabbed my shoulders, and whimpered, “Ohhhhhh, shit!”

  “You gonna miss me, Kim?”

  She opened her eyes and frowned at me. “Hell, no.”

  I chuckled, buried my face in her neck, and as I found my rhythm once again, I said, “I bet Little Kim is gonna miss my ass, though.”

  “Oh, she definitely will.”

  Sitting on a pillow on Zabrina’s floor, I dug in the plastic bag, unearthing the jewelry I’d just bought at Zumi’s Market, a heavenly store that specialized in African and African-themed goodies, everything from clothes to fabric to waist beads to the gorgeous Africa-shaped earrings I’d copped. Plus, they had a wide variety of feminine health and hygiene products.

  “Girl, those earrings are the bomb! I can’t believe your selfish ass got the last pair. You getting more and more treacherous by the day. And hold your damn head still,” Zabrina said.

  I rolled my eyes and wondered to myself why I kept paying this nut to braid my hair. She was good at it, really needed her own shop, but she hated braiding hair and only accommodated me because I was her BFF. Hell, she hated working, period. I believed if her singing career ever took off and required her to put in more than a nickel’s worth of effort, she’d quit performing altogether.

  I heard her rustling through a bag of hair, then felt her yank my damn head to the right, so I turned around and glared at her. “Wench, I didn’t even move my head that time, and you know what? You been acting strange all day. What is your issue?”

  “You are foul! That’s what my issue is!”

  With a deeply furrowed brow, I asked, “The hell are you talking about?”

  “That shit you pulled at the block party! You disappeared on me, and when I went looking for you in your office, you wouldn’t answer the door, and I heard y’all!”

  Oh, shit. “You heard who? Who is y’all?”

  “Don’t play with me Kimberly Shay Hampton! Y’all is you and that nerdy-ass Elvis! Y’all were in there screwing and don’t try to deny it!”

  “Me and Elrich? You think I was in there having sex with Elrich?”

  “I know you were! I saw him at the party, and there was definitely some sex going on in that office, Kim. Don’t try to lie to me. I’ll know.”

  “Z, you are tripping.” I turned around, because I knew she really could tell when I was lying. She could damn near read my mind. “Wasn’t no one in my office doing nothing. You’re crazy, thinking I was having sex in my office. Me? Girl, stop.”

  “Wait a minute. It wasn’t Elvis, was it?”

  I sighed. “Elrich, Z.”

  “Uh-huh. So who was it? Let me think…you disappeared right around the time that fine-ass Leland McClain showed up. I was trying to get to him, but everybody and their damn mama had him surrounded, so I grabbed me a lemonade real quick and then I lost sight of him and—Kim?”

  Aw, hell. I should’ve just tried to lie and say I was screwing Elrich, I thought to myself as I squeezed my eyes shut and sighed. “Huh?”

  “Were you having sex with—”

  Before she could say another word, my phone began to ring on the floor beside me. It was Sunday afternoon and I was expecting my son to arrive in a few hours, so I first thought maybe it was him telling me he had arrived earlier than planned, but when I saw the letters DLS pop up on my phone’s screen, I scrambled to my feet and headed from Zabrina’s living room to her bathroom, shouting, “I gotta take this. Be right back!” along the way.

  “Hello,” I answered, closing the bathroom door and sitting on the side of the tub.

  “Hey, what you doing?”

  “Getting my hair re-braided. You in LA?”

  “Yeah, just calling to let you know I made it.”

  “You didn’t have to do that. It’s not like you’re my man or anything,” I said, trying not to smile. Hearing his voice just made me feel good. He made me feel good, but a relationship was a no-no for me no matter what, and he needed to understand that.

  “I know that, but I am Little Kim’s man. Put her on the phone.”

  I laughed. “I’m not putting the phone to my vagina, McClain.”

  “You trying to keep us apart? That’s wrong, Kim. Put her on. Stop trying to come between us with your jealous ass.”

  Still laughing, I said, “I’m not doing it! Besides, how will I know when you’re done talking to her?”

  “Then put me on speakerphone.”

  “I’m at someone else’s house, a nosy someone else who is probably at the door listening right now. I can’t put you on speakerphone.”

  “Then put the phone down there with your hard-headed ass. Damn! I’m tryna talk to my woman.”

  My stomach was hurting from laughing at that point, but I managed to say, “Fine! I’m putting it down there now.” I moved the phone, rubbed it against my shirt, then brought it back to my ear so I could hear him.

  “I know you’re listening, because I can hear you breathing, so just give her a message for me. Tell her I miss the way she smells and feels and the sound she makes when she gets wet and I slide up inside her, and that I can’t wait to come back home so we can talk in person.”

  “You sound like you’re in love with her or something,” I said.

  “Shit, I am. Gotta go. I’ll call Little Kim later.”

  “You are truly crazy. Bye, McClain.”

  “Bye.”

  Surprisingly, Zabrina wasn’t standing at the door when I opened it. I was back on the floor and she had her hands in my hair when she asked, “Who is DLS?” Evidently, she saw my phone before I grabbed it.

  “What?”

  “Who is DLS? That someone’s initials?”

  I remained silent then decided that as ridiculous as she could be and usually was, I knew I could count on her to keep a secret, so I said, “It stands for Daddy Long Stroke.”

  “Damn, really?”

  “Yep.”

  “Somebody got it like that?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Is that somebody Leland McClain?”

  I didn’t respond.

  “Kim?”

  I sighed and slowly nodded. “Yes, it’s Leland McClain.”

  “You’re actually sleeping with Leland McClain?!” she shrieked. I was glad her man was at work.

  “We haven’t been doing much sleeping,” I mumbled.

  I expected more shrieking. Instead, the room fell silent as she resumed braiding my hair.

  About ten minutes passed before I finally said, “Z? You don’t have anything to say? You ain’t gonna curse me out for keeping this from you? Call me a ho’? Nothing?”

  “I’m jealous as hell and confused and a little happy for you. It
’s hard to process this, because I almost can’t believe it,” she admitted. “How? When? Shit, why?”

  I shrugged. “It just kind of happened in the midst of him volunteering at the center and harassing me over that one kid I was telling you about. He apologized for being mean to me and then that night we took the boy home, it…happened. Then I started avoiding him, but he kinda confronted me about dodging him at the block party and it happened again and it keeps happening because it’s the best sex I have ever had in my entire life.”

  More silence.

  “Damn, I’m baring my ho’ soul to you and nothing? You got nothing to say?”

  “I’m waiting on the why, Kim. After all that shit with him and Armand? I mean, really? You know your son is a little different in the head and downright irrational when it comes to you. Why would you put Leland McClain in that position? Didn’t you say he seemed like a good guy?”

  “Damn, Z. I didn’t take the dick from him. He initiated things, and I’m not marrying the man. And shit, weren’t you the one talking about how fine and fuckable he is?”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t think your scared of fine men-ass would actually screw him!”

  “Me either.”

  “But you did.”

  “Uh-huh, and it’s good sex, Z. Great sex. OMG, it’s sooooo gooooood.”

  “I get it! He got good dick!”

  “Shiiiiiid! He’s got excellent, outstanding, preeminent, motherfucking first and foremost dick!”

  “Bitch, okay! But think about this for a minute: why did he initiate things with you knowing who you are? You need to be careful. He might just be trying to get back at Armand after the way he clowned him, trying to fight him on the court on TV. Hasn’t that thought occurred to you? I mean, he left Miami because of beef with your son, Kim. And now he’s having sex with you? Could be about revenge for him.”

  I frowned a little, fixing my eyes on her TV screen, which was playing a bootleg copy of that new Jumanji movie. “Honestly, I hadn’t thought about that at all.”

  “You should’ve! Come on! You’re smarter than this, cuz.”