Let Me Hold You Read online

  She leaned against me as we walked to my truck with the Cyclones security surrounding us, and as tired as I was, I didn’t mind supporting her weight. I could smell her perfume in the night air, and although my stomach was rumbling, all I could think about was stripping her naked and taking both of us to Heaven as soon as we made it home.

  “A’ight, ace! See you later!” Polo shouted, as he approached his ridiculously souped-up Denali which was a couple spaces over from my vehicle. Flashy ass nigga…

  We were the last two team members to leave, which was the usual for us. “A’ight, man. Take it easy,” I replied.

  Kendra and Kim exchanged goodbyes, too, as we made it to my truck. I was opening the passenger door for Kim when I heard someone shout, “Aye, McClain!”

  I watched Kim climb in and then turned my head to see who was calling me, thinking it was another one of my teammates since the Cyclones management didn’t allow fans in this particular area. Maybe me and Polo weren’t the last two to leave.

  Not seeing anyone, I shrugged, closed Kim’s door, and checked my phone when I heard it ding in my pocket. I’d received a text from my cousin, Barbie, about Aunt Ever, who’d had her appointment for her heart earlier that day and was evidently recovering well from getting a cardiac stent placed. Thank God.

  “McClain!” the voice shouted again.

  “Who dat?” I yelled in response, my face still in the phone.

  “The motherfucker who’s gon’ end your punk ass!”

  The shots rang out before I could react, hitting concrete and metal—my truck.

  Kim.

  I turned back to her but was yanked to the ground by someone. Security? I yelled for them to let me go, but whoever it was had a mean grip on me.

  “Stay down!” I heard the person yell.

  “My wife!” I countered.

  Then there was more yelling, so much yelling and so many voices that I couldn’t make sense of any of it. Yelling, gunshots, movement, rapid footfalls, more yelling, more gunshots, more feet beating the pavement. It was a confusing mixture of panicked sounds, and somewhere in the midst of it all, I could hear Kim screaming my name. Was she afraid for me or did she need me?

  Kim.

  My baby.

  All I could think about was getting to her, to them. If I got shot, I got shot, but I had to get to her. I had to.

  I wrestled myself free of whoever had me and hopped to my feet, bullets still pinging around me, voices still filling the air.

  “I got him!” someone shouted.

  They got who? I wondered, as I tried to orient myself to where I was. Whoever grabbed me had dragged me away from the truck, not too far, but far enough to confuse me, or maybe it was the melee around me that confused me—people running, other people shouting orders, someone on a phone, someone crying.

  Someone crying?

  I got my head right and rushed to my truck to see the passenger door laying open, glass from the windows littering the interior, and blood.

  Not a lot of blood, but shit, it was blood.

  Whose blood was it?

  I spun on my heels, trying to figure out the direction of the crying, and realized it was coming from the back of my truck. Yanking the backdoor open, I found Kim lying on the floorboard rolled into a ball, shaking and crying. There was blood on her arms. Without thinking, I grabbed her, and she started yelling.

  “It’s me! It’s me, baby! It’s me!” I tried to reassure her.

  She opened her eyes and wrinkled her eyebrows. “Leland?”

  “Yeah, baby. I got you. I got you. Where are you hurt?”

  “I-I don’t know. I don’t…I’m so sorry, Leland. This was my fault. I’m so sorry,” she whispered, and then her eyes fluttered closed.

  33

  The last thing I felt like doing was answering the phone, but since Everett had just recently stopped cursing me out for keeping my marriage and baby a secret from him, although months had passed, I accepted his call and leaned forward in the chair, my elbows on my knees, one hand holding the phone and the other holding my forehead. “Yo,” I said, closing my eyes.

  “You good, man? I heard some shit went down after the game. Tryna see if it’s true.”

  “I’m fine. Scraped up from team security slamming me to the ground and dragging my big ass to safety, and the screen of my phone is cracked up to be damned from me dropping it. Other than that, I’m good.”

  “Good. Good. Kim? The baby?”

  “Waiting to see.”

  “Okay…I’m on my way and I’m bringing Tommy with me. He’s gonna hang with you, help you put a security team together. Him and Bridgette broke up, so he wants to get away for a minute anyway.”

  “Okay.”

  Silence from my big brother.

  “What?” I asked, sitting up and letting my eyes round the filling ER waiting area. I hated hospitals. They reminded me too much of being eleven and losing my mom.

  “You ain’t gonna fight me on this?”

  “Naw. Shit, you’re right. You been right. If I’d had security, they could’ve protected Kim. I wanna be pissed at the team’s security for leaving her hanging like that, but they were doing their job by protecting me. It was my job to protect her, and I failed. I failed like a mug, man.”

  “Don’t do that to yourself, Leland. This ain’t your fault.”

  “Yeah, it is. They got the guy and it turns out he’s the stepdad of that kid I told you about from the basketball camp I volunteered at. The one at the center Kim used to run.”

  “The dude who was hitting on the little boy’s mom? He’s the shooter?”

  “Yeah. I guess he’s been pissed at me all this time for getting in his business and getting his ass arrested.”

  “The fuck he doing out of jail?”

  “Cops said his girl wouldn’t testify against him, so they couldn’t hold him.”

  “Damn.”

  “I know.”

  A nurse called my name, so I said, “Gotta go, Ev. See you when you get here.”

  “A’ight, man.”

  I followed the nurse to the ER room where Kim lay in a bed, her head turned toward the wall. She’d given me an update on her condition and I couldn’t believe what she’d told me, but now I was seeing it. I was seeing it with my own two eyes, but that didn’t make it any easier to believe.

  “Kim?” I said softly.

  She turned her head and reached for me. I rushed to the side of her bed and pulled her to me, stroking the bandage on her arm where a bullet grazed it, then her hair, and letting my tears fall. She was okay, understandably shaken up, but okay. The blood was from cuts on her arms from the glass of the door windows and windshield that were shattered by the hail of bullets, and the one that grazed her. She was alive. She was still here, and for that, I was eternally grateful.

  The first miracle I ever encountered was meeting and falling in love with Kim. The second and third were her agreeing to carry my child and become my wife. The fourth miracle was that despite that fool’s best efforts, she was okay, and so was my baby.

  So was my baby.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I said into her ear.

  “Me, too. And the baby,” she whimpered.

  “Our baby is tough as hell,” I replied.

  She laughed against my shoulder. “Just like us, huh?”

  “Just like you, baby.”

  “Hmmm, Leland, I need to tell you something.”

  “I already know.”

  Releasing me, she asked, “You already know what?”

  “Who Shemar’s stepdad is, who he was to you.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “H-how?”

  “When I was talking to the police, they said his street name was Domo, but his government name is Andre Greene. I remembered the dude who choked you, the ex you said Daniels pulled off you was named Dre and how you reacted to seeing him and what he did to Shemar’s mom, and I put two and two together, figured out it was the same dude.”

  Ki
m stared at me for so long that I asked, “I’m right…right?”

  “Yes,” she softly said. “I should’ve told you before. When I heard him call your name tonight, I recognized his voice, and I just knew he was going to hurt you and it’d be my fault.”

  “Naw, baby. What he did tonight had nothing to do with you. He never saw you that day at his house. I was his target.”

  “But he had to have seen us together on social media and stuff. He had to know I was your wife.”

  “He probably did, but his beef was with me, not you. If he was gonna come for you, he could’ve done that a long time ago. Your son might’ve beat his ass, but dude had a gun. Daniels couldn’t do shit to stop a bullet.”

  “Maybe you’re right.”

  “I know I am. Anyway, they got him and he’s going down for real this time. He actually shot a couple members of the security team and there were plenty of witnesses.”

  “He did?! Are they okay?!”

  “Yeah, they’re good. Minor injuries.”

  “Good,” she said through a sigh. “But I don’t understand how he got so close. Isn’t that area restricted?”

  “Get this, the nigga works at the arena. Been working there for a while, since before I joined the team.”

  “Wow!”

  “Yeah.” I sat on the side of the small bed and grasped her hand. “Look, baby, this was on me, and I probably should say some shit like you’d be better off without me, but that’d be a lie.”

  “Wooooow.”

  I smiled at her. “Just saying. Anyway, we’re gonna be fine. Ev is gonna help me hire some bodyguards, get a security team of my own together.”

  “Good! You’ve been needing one.”

  “It’s for you, too, baby. I gotta take better care of you.”

  “You take the best care of me, Leland.”

  “Naw, I can do better. I should’ve been had you a bodyguard, but I’ma fix that. No more playing around with your safety.”

  “Okay, baby.”

  I was leaning in to kiss her when a knock sounded at the door. “Excuse me. Mrs. McClain, your son is here to see you.”

  I looked at her and she nodded.

  “Okay, I’ll go get him,” I said.

  She grabbed my arm before I could leave her bedside. “Leland—”

  “If he behaves, so will I. Let me go get him.”

  She sighed and nodded again.

  He was sitting in the waiting area, a few feet from where I’d been sitting before, but I knew he had to have arrived after I went back to see Kim, because I would’ve noticed him…I think. Shit, who knows? My mind was all tangled up, and when I wasn’t sitting out there worried about my wife and child, I was dealing with calls from family members and Polo, who managed to pull out of the lot before the shooting started, team reps, and the team publicist. Hell, the damn cops had even questioned me there for a hot second, adding to their on-site interrogation. So yeah, I could’ve missed him, but I was pretty sure I didn’t.

  His head snapped up from where it’d been buried in his chest, and he looked up at me as if he sensed my presence. There was concern in his eyes, but that didn’t mean anything to me. I had some stuff to get off my chest, and this seemed like as good a time as any.

  Hopping to his feet, he moved closer to me. “I-I was at the game tonight, and after I left, I heard the news. How is my mama? I need to see her.”

  Shaking my head, I stuffed my hands in the pockets of my jogging pants. “We need to get some shit clear before you go see her.”

  “Look, McClain—”

  “Naw, bruh…you look. That’s my wife back there. My wife. Ain’t shit I won’t do for her and my baby. If you think I’ma let you go back there talking shit to her and upset her, you’re out your damn mind. And if you lay a finger on her, accident or not, I’ma fuck you all the way up. I promise on my mama and my daddy, I will break your neck if you ever hurt her again. Matter of fact, your ass better not even flinch around her in my presence. Let me see you blink in her direction and I’ma—”

  “Man, that’s my mom! I just wanna see her. That’s all!”

  I stared at him, didn’t move a muscle.

  “Look, man...I ain’t got no beef with you no more. I can see you ain’t playing with her like I thought you were. I just…” At that moment, he broke down. I mean, tears and snot were going everywhere.

  I was still ready to whoop his ass, though.

  “I think it’s good she found you. She seems happy in the pictures you been posting on IG. I just…I don’t want her to get hurt. I thought you were gonna hurt her,” he continued.

  “Like you hurt her?”

  “Like everybody hurt her.”

  “Well, I ain’t everybody.”

  He nodded as he looked me in the eye. “Yeah, I can see that. She’s happy. Never really seen her happy before.”

  We both stood there as I tried to decide if I believed him or not.

  “I just wanna see my mom,” he pleaded.

  “Shit…come on, man. You can see her, but I’ma be right there.”

  He nodded.

  “Here’s your phone. I forgot to give it to you,” Leland said, when he returned. “I grabbed it from the truck.”

  “Thank you,” I said, as I took the phone from him.

  “I’ll be right outside the door, okay?” He kissed me and left the room, leaving the door ajar.

  My eyes settled on Armand, who stood just inside the room, his eyes on the floor.

  “You scared to be close to me or something?” I asked, my words cutting through the tangible tension in the air.

  I watched as he lifted his eyebrows and eyes, head still lowered, and dragged himself over to me, instantly putting me in the mind of a ten-year-old Boogie. Then I thought about him at three, always shaking his little booty to some song, earning his nickname.

  He made it to the bedside and lifted his wet eyes to my face, speaking words through them that I knew were stuck somewhere behind his pride.

  Resting my hand on top of his that was gripping the side rail, I assured him that, “Hey, I forgive you.”

  His eyes widened. “You do?”

  I nodded and reached up to place my hand on his cheek. “Yep, and I’ve missed you. You been okay?”

  He shook his head. “Been missing you, too.”

  “No need to. You can always call me.”

  “I was so worried when I heard about the shooting. I’m glad you’re okay.”

  “Me, too.” I watched him nod and took a deep breath. “Armand, I know how you feel about Leland, but I love him and I’m married to him and—”

  “Look, Ma…I’m good with it now. I mean, I still don’t like it or him, but I can see he loves you, so…I’ma let it go. Uh, I’m sorry for hurting you and taking your stuff. You can have your car back and I still own the condo so I can give you the key and you—”

  “That’s okay. I don’t need anything.”

  “Yeah, I saw that Land Rover he got you. It’s nice.”

  “Thanks. Armand…I wasn’t your responsibility and I shouldn’t have accepted that stuff from you in the first place, so—”

  “But you’re his responsibility?”

  “He thinks so.”

  We were quiet until he asked, “Boy or a girl?”

  I frowned, then rested my hand on my tummy. “Oh! We don’t know. We want to be surprised.”

  “But you’re happy, right? About the baby? And he’s taking care of you?”

  “I’ve never been so happy, Boogie. Leland is good to me, really good to me.”

  “Good.”

  My phone buzzed, and upon checking the screen, my eyes widened. “It’s-it’s my brother.”

  “Uncle Kent? Really?”

  I nodded. I hadn’t talked to him in years, literal years.

  “I’ma let you get that. I’ll talk to you later. Love you, Ma.”

  “Love you, too, Boogie.”

  Leland was back at my bedside when I said, “Hello
,” into the phone.

  “Hey, sis. It’s been a while, huh?”

  34

  His huge hands gripped my hips as he plowed into me, his pace hectic but rhythmic as his big body crowded the back of mine.

  “I will fuck up the world for you, you know that, baby? Ain’t shit I wouldn’t do for you.”

  “Ohhh, shit!” was my response, because he was rubbing and bumping up against all the right spots over and over again, sending me so close to the edge that I could peer over the cliff and see my destination perfectly.

  His hand snaked its way under my dress and bra to my full breast. He palmed it, then squeezed it, still gripping my hip with the other hand. Then his hand slid up to the waist beads that had become a mandatory part of my wardrobe, according to my husband.

  My husband

  That was still unbelievable to me, had been since the day it happened. Never in a million years did I think I’d be someone’s wife. Especially his wife. He was so good to—

  “Oh, oh, ohhhhhhh!!” I gripped the edge of the vanity, bracing myself as I climaxed and Leland thrusted deeper, harder, faster.

  “I love you, baby. I’ma always love you,” he said into my ear.

  “I love you, toooooo,” I whimpered.

  A few strokes later, he lost his rhythm, grunted, groaned, and collapsed onto my back. “Shit,” he muttered. “I can’t believe you made me do that.”

  Catching my breath, I replied, “It was only a suggestion.”

  “You saying, ‘Why don’t you find us somewhere to fuck because I’m horny as hell and my pussy is beating like an HBCU drumline,’ was just a suggestion? Really?”